How to Date Your Demons (Without Moving In)
A Guide to Healthy Boundaries With Your Dark Side
Your demons make great booty calls but terrible life partners. Here's how to keep things casual.
The Rules of Engagement
1. First Dates Only (No U-Hauls)
Your abandonment issues don't get a key to your apartment.
Healthy: "I hear you, Fear of Rejection. Let's discuss this over coffee."
Unhealthy: "I'll rearrange my entire personality because you said someone might not like me."
Try This: Name your demon + set a time limit. "Okay, Catastrophizing Carl, you get 10 minutes of my attention. Then we're done."
(This works because containment = power.)
2. Don't Introduce Them to Your Friends
Your toxic traits don't get to crash the group chat.
Examples:
Letting your self-doubt write your dating profile? Bad.
Letting your people-pleasing demon agree to host Thanksgiving for 20 people when you live in a studio apartment? Disaster.
Script: "Sorry, Imposter Syndrome Izzy—you're not invited to my job interview."
3. They Pay for Their Own Therapy
You're not responsible for fixing your demons—just managing them.
What This Looks Like:
Perfectionism Patty wants to reorganize your sock drawer by thread count at 2 AM? "That's a you problem, babe."
People-Pleasing Pete wants you to say yes to being the designated driver for your ex's birthday party? "Hard pass."
Mantra: "I'll acknowledge you, but I won't finance your bad habits."
When to Ghost Your Demons
They get one warning before you cut contact.
Red Flags:
They make you add items to your Amazon cart at 1 AM but never let you actually buy them
They convince you to overthink that text message for 47 minutes before sending "k"
They whisper "you're probably annoying everyone" every time you laugh at your own jokes
Breakup Text: "Hey [Demon Name], this isn't working. I need space. Don't call me."
(Yes, literally say this out loud. It works.)
Your Homework
Name your demon's worst habit
Give it a curfew ("You get 5 minutes a day")
Reply to this note with your demon's 'dating profile'
Example: "Self-Sabotage Sam, 35, enjoys ruining my progress right before deadlines. Looking for short-term attention only. Hobbies include making me doubt my decisions and refreshing my bank account obsessively."
Final Thought: "Your demons don't get a forever home in your head. They get a timeshare—with strict rules."
P.S. New here? I teach "spirituality for people who hate toxic positivity." Subscribe for more “I shouldn’t laugh at this…but I did”.
I agree! They get a timeshare, not a key!! They serve a purpose, especially in creativity. This spoke to IFS (our parts). Thanks for sharing xoxo